tablespoons:

loling-in-the-deep:

imagine if your name was a swear word

motherfucker can you please come down to the office

omg at first i thought u meant like ur name was used as a swear word 

shut the brittany up go chris yourself

(Source: officialswagmom, via guy)

pink-vulva:

reasons i want to look GOOD 

  • for myself
  • for myself
  • to plant the seed of envy in other bitch’s hearts
  • for myself

(Source: pinkvelourtracksuit, via guy)

coconut-coffee:

my wallet needs to be as thick as my thighs

(Source: goldenshawty, via guy)

brttny32194:

but why do i say “i know” to my pets when they make noises. im lying to them. i don’t know anything.

(Source: brittany-32194, via elvistiel)

boodlicious:

forcing your pets to spend time with you by closing the door

(via guy)

heartmehateme:

shoutout to the friends that still like me

all two of you

(via guy)